dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
