oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
