it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
