Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Did I show you my penis last night?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
