I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Who died my cat blue again?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
