fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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