we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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