i permit you to call me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
