How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
