I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
