doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
