she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
