Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
