Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
