im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Then you guys just all showered together...?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
