People in love make me want to vomit
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
