The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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