; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
