my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
