Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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