I think my vagina is haunted
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
