fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
