C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
