I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
