Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
