Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
That's intense
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
