Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I will die if light touches me.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
