i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
