Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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