A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
