Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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