New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
