I showed him my bush... on skype.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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