I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
