no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
