Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Me too!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
