Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
