I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
