All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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