Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
