He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
