check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
