If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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