It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he shaved USA in his pubs
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
