she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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