so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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