i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
