I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You did what with his pubic hair?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
