HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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