i used baking grease as lip gloss
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
