It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
