Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Randomize
