Sponge bath it is.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
