we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
