i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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