You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
