Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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