I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Life is so much better after having sex.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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