I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize