Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
